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Kelleys find ministry in relating to foster
children's parents
 When a foster child comes into Martha and Henry Kelley's home, the child's
birth parents and other relatives are also accepted as family.
"We realize that the troubles each child is facing in life are due mostly to
the situations they left," Martha says. "In most cases, the goal is to
ultimately return the child to his or her birth parents or other relatives.
So it's in ours and the child's best interests for us to try to relate to
the birth family."
In their eight years as foster parents with the Children's Homes, the
Kelleys have had seven foster children ranging in ages from 3 years old to
18 years old.
 "We had two children whose mother was in prison, and we allowed her to call
the children once a month," Martha recalls. "She wrote letters to them and I
sent pictures to her. We would have taken them to visit her if she had
wanted."
Foster parents and their foster children's birth families are usually
discouraged from visiting each other's homes. Exceptions have been allowed,
however, as in the Kelleys' relationship with their current foster child's
parents. The child came to the Kelleys' home seven years ago when her
parents asked the Children's Homes to care for her.
"Most of the time, parents are able to do for their children but don't want
to. Our current foster child came to us, not because her parents didn't want
to care for her, but because they didn't know how," says Martha, before
noting that both the child and her parents have learning disabilities. "We
work with the child's parents as much as we work with her."
At first, the Kelleys met with their foster child's parents once monthly at
a daycare facility owned by Covington Baptist Association. Due to the birth
parents' mental limitations, the Kelleys spent a lot of time repeating
instructions as they trained the two adults to care for their daughter.
"Now we go to their home and we can trust them to come to our home as long
as they call first," Martha says. "They're sweet and loving, but they can't
remember things well. On weekends when they've been scheduled to come and
get her, we've sometimes had to call to remind them."
 When the birth parents come to pick up their daughter or the Kelleys take
her to them, the Kelleys remind them to give her baths and to help her brush
her teeth. They always give the birth parents the child's report cards and
other school items, and many times the birth parents will attend school
programs and church with the Kelleys.
The professional counselors and social workers at the Children's Homes have
always been available as needed, Henry reports. He and Martha have invited
help particularly as their current foster child has struggled to understand
that she can love them and her birth parents.
"We've been careful to never say anything negative to our foster children
about their birth parents," Martha acknowledges. "For us, foster care is as
much a witness to the children as it is to their birth families." |
